BBQ Shicken!

I have a new "all-time" marinade for bbq chicken.

big bag
8 or 9 pieces of chicken (any parts)
1 lemon (juiced and throw the lemons in the bag)
paprika, Italian seasoning, salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, olive oil, allspice.

This with Sweet Baby Ray's bbq sauce off the grill was like "smack my ass and call me Bernice!" good... mmm.. beer, bbq, pool, great weather... Don't forget, grill the chicken, then add the bbq sauce and put the chicken off of the hot part of the grill and let it bake with the sauce.. yum!

Slogan.

I came up with a slogan a couple weeks ago. Not sure if it's been used yet. I've searched on Google and found no matches. It's in the style of "Save a horse, ride a cowboy." Only mine (of course) is much more vulgar. Ready? Ok, here it is:

"Save a razor, ride a mustache."

Hahaha.. I love me.

Haikoolaid.

Stress is like a maze
Most don't know how to get out
This cheese tastes so good

Dear Madam Glambert,

Stop screaming.

Sincerely,
Everyone with ears.

Food, lies, and a free chicken sandwich.

Working out every Monday, Wednesday, Friday in the office gym. Lifting weights, focusing on arms and rotator cuffs and shoulders. Sticking to the plan, not skipping a session, even when work is busy.


Now to my problem.


I have some kind of obsession with fast food commercials, I critique them. I yell at them. I try to figure out if the offer is a good deal or some scheme or rip-off. Pausing live T.V. to look over the picture like a crime-scene investigator looking for a vital clue. Somehow they make something (usually) mediocre, look delicious.

Guess what? You too could have a career as a "food stylist" (in English that translates to 'liar').
http://www.culinaryschools.com/being-a-food-stylist

My new frustration is the AMPM chicken sandwich. In the commercial they're doing something tricky with the bottom bun, it looks much longer than the top. Maybe to make it look bigger? I will have to get one and do a side by side photo comparison for you, screen shot of the commercial vs. the actual sandwich. Did I mention I have a problem?

In researching this further I just found out that tomorrow 5/20/09 is free chicken sandwich day at AMPM. Oh, it's on, you little clucker.
http://timblair.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!B71A619F97F176BD!194100.entry

Don't even get me started on Carl's Jr. commercials. The most crisp, perfect, 1 ft. tall burger depicted in the commercial is in reality a pile of saucy mush. If it doesn't live up to the advertisement, it doesn't belong in my face. I mean, they aren't bad, but they're no Double-Double (animal style).

I guess I should be the fast food hero, and warn society (or my 2 readers) about these misleading tricks fast food ad's use. Problem is, I don't like fast food. At all. In fact, I'm not even a big fan of restaurant food. I like good old-fashioned home cookin'.

I think I just found my blog calling.

Sausage Fest 2009

Sausage... Just saying the word causes my mind to flood with visions of sizzling intestinal casings filled with processed meats and spices ready to burst with the fatty juice that can only be described as "heart attack juice". Back in April, 2009, I was invited to my girlfriend's uncle Pete's dairy to take part in a tradition that I don't think I'll ever forget. I mean, how often are you approached with the option of making large quantities of homemade Italian sausage? This was my first time in 29 years so I'd say its pretty darn rare.


We arrived on Sunday, which I learned later was actually the second day of the event. Saturday was butchering day, which I wish I could have been a part of. Walking up to the old wooden structure (not sure what the room is really used for) I could smell a lot of recognizable scents. The smell of raw meat, wine, and very aromatic spices (clove, cinnamon, etc.) filled the entire space. The tying of the sausage links had already begun. I watched for a minute or two to see what I was in store for..







Yes, I'm making that ridiculous face on purpose.




To my right is my girlfriend's dad, Bill, who is familiar to this tradition (done this since he was a kid). He got me started by teaching me the initial "loop tie" to tie off the end of the sausage link, leaving a loop of string for hanging the sausage (some of the sausage is hung to dry almost like salami). The rope was soaked in water and small sticks were attached to a power drill to quickly wrap the rope onto the stick. Then, holding the stick in one hand, you cinch tie the links together (trying not to pop the casing). Sounds easy but it takes getting used to, after about 3 practice links, I pretty much had the technique down.

The day turned out to be a lot of fun, and even though I didn't get any pictures of the fantastic meal that was provided to all of us, I will have to comment on a few things. The sausage that was cooked up was FANTASTIC. Also, the mashed potato's were heaven in pan. There was so much butter in it that you could almost call it "mashed potato scampi", plus the fact that since we were at a dairy, I'm sure there was REAL milk used. I'm really glad I decided to go on this little adventure and hope that next year I'll be there again.

These two pictures are of the breakfast sausage casings, and also the breakfast sausage meat mixture inside the mixer.

The gift. (4/30/09)

The day was like any other, find a problem, fix it, rinse and repeat. However, this day was particularly rewarding as later in the day it's always fun to find ironic or hilarious things to discuss with my coworkers.

For re-organizing our drive that archives our mailed and faxed letters to the members of my health insurance company, I was rewarded with a gift from my supervisor.


Here it is:


Behold, the "Wild Time, Mini Spinner". Equipped with lights, vibration, and fits in the palm of your hand. Sorry, but I just couldn't help but have a dirty mind when I received this. This! Go ahead, look at it again, I'll wait...



So, do a good job at work, and you too could be the employee that's rewarded with an obviously adult toy that's been re-packaged just in time to be a dollar store easter bargain.

Inside the folded paper logo is a list of warnings. One such warning is "The supply terminals are not to be short circuted". I'm no electrician, but I don't know what a supply terminal is, nor would I know how to short it once I located it.

I'm sure this is just the beginning of many more rediculous "prizes" I will be rewarded with as time goes by. Stay tuned.......